Trading discussion forum sites and chat rooms can be great resources, but they can also become major sources of conflict if you let them. I came across the following post on Trade2Win active trader forum today. I’ll not list the poster, though if you really wanted to you could probably find it (unless the moderators have deleted it at this point).
I beg your pardon? I did not insult you personally…I stated something that is my opinion…as you, or anyone else does and to which you and they are entitled. You have insulted me. Listen pal, don’t ever PRESUME to know anything about a poster save that which they post. Your posted remarks say tomes about you…your ego is offended because I immediately discerned that you are a fraud. “Anyway, I know better than to get into a discussion …….” No you don’t, you ahole, you are actually inviting an argument…and you’re going to get one. Your statement is fraudulent on the face of it…simple logic old boy. … Shall I continue ridiculing your BS trading …as you continued to pathetically attempt to impress a neophyte trader..you weren’t helping him..you were stroking your OWN insecurity needs and helping your fragile ego gratification.
I include this posting here because it represents the silliness which can take place on discussion forum sites and in chat rooms. He makes several mistakes. First of all, he clearly got entirely too emotional for his own good. Second, he responds to what he perceived as a personal attack (I have my reservations on whether that was really the case) with name calling and personal attacks in the other direction. Third, he attacks the other poster for what he sees as making assumptions about him based on his posts, then proceeds to do exactly the same thing the other way. He did make a good counter-point (excluded), but it was so wrapped up in negatives that it tends to get over-looked.
Needless to say, I discourage this type of behavior. It serves no purpose.
Anonymity and Aggression
The culture of the discussion forum is an interesting one, to say the least. The ability of members to mask their true identities leads to all kinds of behavior which probably wouldn’t take place in a face-to-face scenario. I’ve seen some very bizarre exchanges indeed, and of course a few heated ones with the above being an example of a part of something like that.
Actually, I was once essentially subject to a post in response to my own – I can’t even remember the subject – in which the other poster did the forum equivalent of asking me to step outside. I was totally stunned. I couldn’t see anything in what I’d written which I thought could or should be taken as a personal attack of any kind. From my perspective, I’d simply expressed my disagreement with what he’d been saying.
I will admit to being a debater. Always have been. I get it from my mother. As a result, I happily wade into forum discussions and debate topics, but only if I feel like there is something being presented incorrectly or I can add to the conversation. Otherwise, I tend to just observe.
Here’s the thing, though. It’s really, really easy to get wound up, emotional, and frankly quite stupid, in a forum or chat room situation. Anonymity seems to encourage this kind of behavior. So too does the simple geography gap. I’ve actually seen co-workers of mine, working on the same forex analytic product, get into really petty squabbles between the Boston and London offices. When you don’t know someone and/or don’t see them regularly, it’s easier for common decency and decorum to go out the window. It happens in email exchanges on a far too regular basis, often creating unnecessary hostile feelings.
I personally use my real name in my post signatures because I behave myself, am a semi-public figure, and don’t really want to be in a situation where someone thinks I’m hiding behind a screen name. I can’t do anything about the distance, though, or the fact that most of the folks with whom I correspond have never met me, and probably never will.
Avoid getting sucked in
If you spend enough time on discussion boards and whatnot it’s pretty much inevitable that you’re going to end up in a clash situation with someone. For your own sake, and for that of the other participants, don’t take the bait when someone makes it personal. Responding to it doesn’t really accomplish anything. To the contrary, it will just get you emotionally charged, which could lead you do do something stupid.
My advice for someone facing a personal attack is to ignore it, or maybe to say something to the effect of “I’m not making this personal. There’s no need for you to do so.” There are a lot of forum posters out there who seem to thrive on the attention, so if you get into it with them you just feed that. Ignoring them will often result in their losing interest.
Now, having said that, if someone is besmirching your good name by making false statements and the like you should certainly defend yourself. Don’t get into a mud slinging match, but make sure to present the correct facts. It might not hurt to report the attack to the board moderator as well. In many cases they will take action to delete the offending posts.
Do I really need to say that you shouldn’t be launching personal attacks? There’s no reason to be calling people names and making inflammatory comments about them. Chances are you don’t know them at all, so on what basis can you do something like that? None.
One other thing I would recommend is to be very clear in your language. Problems happen between posters at times because folks don’t realize when someone is joking or being sarcastic and take things much too seriously. If you’re being playful in a post, use emoticons and other things like that to be very clear on your position.
Aside from that, just realize that some forum members you come across aren’t going to like you for one reason or another. Maybe they don’t agree with your position. Maybe they don’t like the way you post. Maybe they’re just naturally negative types. Who knows. Do yourself a favor and don’t let it get to you. You aren’t going to be universally loved. Deal with it. And of course there are probably going to be others that rub you the wrong way. Just don’t let it get personal. It’s not worth it.
Feel free to share your experiences and thoughts.
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About the Author
John Forman, author of this blog, has traded for more than 20 years, is a professional market analyst, and authored The Essentials of Trading. He is an active participant in trading forums, consults for trading related businesses, as published literally dozens of trading articles, and has been quoted in a number of books and in the media.
** See John’s full bio.
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